2014-07-31

New Life

I have to take a step forward new life.


2014-07-28

Final

Under the fine weather,the funeral for my grandpa was held.

I can't express my feeling.
Just sad lonly and missing him.

But I have to live without him.



His lovely dog was back to here.
However he has not understood this situation yet.

He is waiting for grandpa till now....


Thank you grandpa.
I love you:)

Passed away

The day came.
Finally my grandpa has gone.
I can't believe it.
I never know how to live without him.



He looks like just sleeping.
At the last moment in his life,I talked about his lovely dog as chai.
I said 'chai is good,fine.he is good boy'
After a few minutes,his heart stopped.
I screamed.
My grandma said to him 'get up,don't sleep,get up' again again and again.
But his heart has never worked.

Still I can feel his existence.
Physical body is just container.
He is in our hearts surely.

My friend told to me
If someone died he would become god.
So grandpa will always look at me.

And I'm sure we will see each other again.

とうとうその日が来てしまった。
祖父は昨日帰らぬ人となり
しかしまだわたしにはその実感もなく
時折そのことを感じると涙がただただ止まらなくなるだけだ。
これなら祖父のいない世の中、どうやって生きていけばいいのかわからない。


納棺後、整えてもらった祖父の姿はただ眠っているだけに見え今にも起きて来そうである。

そう、その時のことだ。
わたしが彼の可愛がっていた、わんこチャイの様子を確認し
チャイは元気でいい子にしてるよ、という報告を入院中のベッドのとこで話してたその数分後、心臓が止まった。
私は叫び、祖母は祖父に向かって
起きて、眠ってないで、起きて。
そう何度も言った。
しかし、心臓が再び動き出すことはなかった。


祖父の存在は今でも感じる。肉体の身体はただの入れ物に過ぎないのだ。
きっと祖父はわたしたちの心の中にいる。

わたしの大切な友達がよく言う。
死んだら神様
祖父はどこかでわたしのことをいつも見ているはずだ。

きっとまた会える。
姿、形は違うかもしれないけど
きっとまた会える。

2014-07-21

These days

I've been staying the hospital over night for 10 days.
Nobody knows the day.
I'd love to be beside my grandpa at the last moment of his life.
The day might be very near....
I can't image the world without him...




2014-07-12

Woof-woof

He is talking in his sleep!!
Wow!!


Arthur Rimbaud

Arthur Rimbaud



I red his works again.
He is one of my most favorit poets.

I long for being such a person.
I don't know why..





2014-07-11

Pray for Gaza




Such a terrible thing....
Pray for Gaza
Save for Gaza

We are the same human beings.

What do you think about Israel??
What do you think about Hamas??
Image we live in terror such as Gaza.

ガザのために何か出来ることはないのだろうか?
Let me know if there is anything I can do for Gaza especially kids...

2014-07-09

stop the travel

I was supposed to go to Istanbul and Europe.
But I canceled any tickets.
I have to look after my grandpa who is still in a coma.

Friends in Europe,see you next time!!
I will go to Europe again.

2014-07-05

2014-07-04

The situation

The situation is still serious.
I hope he is getting better a little by little.
I believe.

2014-07-01

わたしのおじいちゃん

16歳下の弟がいる。
彼がまだ2.3歳だったころ、そうかわいい盛り
わたしも既に大学生だった。
もちろん祖父母もわたし以上にこの弟を可愛がる。
この新参者を。

My youngest brother is 16years younger than me.
When he was 2 or 3 years, most prettiest period,I was already a student of university.
Difenetery my grandpa and grandma took care of him more than me.
This newcomer..


わたしのおじいちゃんを取らないで
'Don't deprive me of MY grandpa'


わたしは彼にそう言い放った。
彼が登場する前まではわたしが姫でわたしが1番愛されていた。
大人の年になってもおじいちゃんだけは独り占めしたかったのだ。
年端もいかない幼児に大人げなくわたしは言った。
I said to my brother.
Before he came,I was loved the best and like a princess for grandpa.
I would love to have kept grandpa to myself if I'm a adult.
Childishly I said to very young child 

わたしのおじいちゃんなんだからね。
'He is MY grandfather,you know?'